It’s really quite surreal to find yourself in a position where something familiar which had happened to you in the past is again facing you. Déjà vu – whatever! Uhm… This one is quite but not entirely like it.
I met these two boys a couple of months ago and I found myself amused at how time quickly passed – one moment I was this ambitious kid with idealistic dreams and plans for himself. Then suddenly, I become this struggling young adult in his never-ending quest for independence, love, and stability. XD
I remember some thoughts running through my 12-year old immaturebrain when I was in 1st year high. As some of you may know, I studied high in the seminary. This “first time away from home” experience brought me some challenges and questions I never imagined myself facing and bothering me. First taste of reality - maybe… A lot of things had happened, which when I think of now, were quite too much for a vulnerable, lost, and lonely kid who thought himself of as a misfit, to handle - a kid who was trying everything just to be in a clique, desperate to feel some sense of belongingness, to be welcomed. Clearly, I was a sponge – absorbing anything which I thought was cool - imbibing them.
IT'S HARD TO BE ON THE OUTSIDE. Trust me.
It was as if life quickly removed the innocence in me. I learned a bunch of things little ones shouldn’t be aware of.
But through it all, I have no regrets even when things presented themselves earlier than they should have. These experiences armoured me with some valuable lessons - that of continuity in all things - with life, with dreams, and most importantly, with growing up. Though it was life’s bitter reality to endure the nightmares at first, it was however, those very same lessons that made it bearable.
As for those boys, I’m just extremely thrilled to have met and talked with them. I saw in their eyes and smile the very fragile soul which made me taste what life was and grow up unexpectedly.
Oh life… Parang kailan lang… *hums. Take care you two. :)
- Jebb Sarceno
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